Summer Time Tip #1

Prof. Plum in the Library with the Candlestick Park

From "I Have a Dream" to John McCain turning 72, this has been a week of a few anniversaries. Here's one more: on this day in 1966, the Beatles played their last tour concert in Candlestick Park in San Francisco. At the time, no one knew it would be their last concert. I'm dedicating today to them.

MY FAVOURITE OF THEIR SONGS

THEIR LAST PHOTOSHOOT

And now
A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

THEY WERE NO BENNY HILL, BUT...

THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY

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Summer Time Tip #2

Summer Time Tip #3

Body Shop of Horrors

Imagine that you've always wanted a Jaguar convertible.

It's a bit pricey for your budget, but you work hard for years, saving your money, keeping your goal in mind all the time until you have the money.

Then, as soon as you actually buy the thing, you get out a can of spray paint and mar the paint job with some trashy graffitti.

So that's what I think of Tyler Southwick's tattoos.

I think they're big, tacky, and vulgar and I can't understand why he'd work for years to build himself into being a statue of what a man should look like, then scratch pay someone to paint into his skin like that.

Yeah, I know it's his body and it's not my decision to make and it's just an opinion and other people like them... Yeah, yeah, fucking yeah! As long as we're being so open-minded, I'm sure there're people who'd like to paint bigger tits on the Mona Lisa. Maybe we should let them.

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Dance Floor Exercises

I love this picture.

Not so much that I didn't touch it up a bit, though.
Removed some blemishes, augmented the colour, simple stuff.

For those that don't follow gymnastics, that's German Fabian Hambuechen and USAmerican Jonathan Horton, by the way. It's probably harmless - just two friendly competitors saying goodbye at the end of a long and very prominent competition - but it looks pretty intimate to me.

I think Fabian's just happy to be able to look down into someone's eyes for a change.

Resources Limited, Appeal

"Even the opinions you have about yourself
are not necessarily true; therefore, you don't need to take
whatever you hear in your own mind personally."

- don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

My collection of quotations is becoming a bit sparse. If you have any favourites, I'd like to hear them. Either post them in a comment here (not the best plan, because anyone can read them) or email them to me.

Thanks.

Summer Time Tip #4

Hits as of now: 14068

High Diving Bored

I was tempted to save these for Friday, but by then they'll seem so old as to be rather sad.

In fact, they already have a bit of that aging fish smell to them, and it's only been two days.

The Real Michael Phelps Revealed

Usain Bolt Celebrates His Win

Aw, c'mon, man!
Why pick on the Austrians?

And the gold for
equipment maintenance goes to...

Summer Time Tip #5

I wonder if some dipshit at Photobucket will declare this pic too offensive too.

Lamb of Godlessness

Lamb
Angel Gabriel
4 mins 15

Hits as of now: 13911
Exactly 100 hits since yesterday morning.

Timberwolf in Sheep's Clothing

Here are those 33 Legion pictures I painted.

Yeah, you've probably seen them here before, but someone wrote asking if I could make them larger so they'd be easier to see. I don't get a lot of requests, so I did it.

Unfortunately, I made them a little too large, enlarged them beyond their resolution threshold, so they got a bit fuzzy. Sorry 'bout that.

Hits as of now: 13888

Secret Agent Man for Monday

Sean Connery

All right, I confess: I didn't have any ideas about whom to put up as today's man, so I went looking for a list of today's birthdays. 'turns out that there are quite a few, but Sir Sean here was the only one whom I thought would do.

I know he's not my usual type: it's pretty obvious that I prefer them young, smooth, and pretty, and he's not any of those things.

At least, not anymore, but there was a time....

Hits as of now: 13811

Summer Time Tip #6

Hay Stack of Pancakes

Ignoring Hay Fever

Actually, I spent the day arranging a storage unit, preparing to move into my new apartment. Last week I put down the deposit, and it's supposed to be ready this coming weekend.

Slowly, life is getting back to normal.

Hits as of now: 13775

Summer Time Tip #7

Summer Time Tip #8

Hits as of now: 13602

Death Race 2008

Last week, the boys at SomethingAwful.com treated us to more pictures reflecting their theme "Spice Up the Olympics" and I missed it. Not to worry: the pictures are still there.

And earlier this week, when I did my little "Mugshot Monday" homage with athletes from the USA Olympic Team, I realized that I've never brought any attention to this guy.

He's Ludwig Paischer, the Austrian who earned 33% of that team's Olympic medals all by himself.

If you do the math, you'll see he got one: a silver in Judo.

J U D O. So don't mess with him

This photo makes him seem cute, but he looks more dangerous (and much hotter) in his official photo.

Hits as of now: 13535

O, Limbic System

A TAX PLAN I CAN REALLY SUPPORT
Finally! Sticking it to the truly deserving
50 secs. - SFW

And now
A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR
40 secs. - SFW

OLYMPI-ODD
Is there enough handicapped parking at the Special Olympics?
3 mins. - SFW

TOWEL HEAD FIRST
For any sophomoric boys in the audience, some cruelty humour.
And I apologize for that title.
20 secs. - SFW

FROM MILTON-BADLY
This is what used to be called "black humour," before people who only thought they knew what it meant started complaining.
2 mins - SFW but might start arguments

Hits as of now: 13480

Summer Time Tip #9

Hits as of now: 13449

Writer's Block Aid

During the week, these random ideas come to me. Some are amusing; some, seemingly profound. And usually I think something like "Cool. I'll talk about that next Thursday."

But, of course, I don't write them down, so when Thursday comes around I can't remember any of them.

This is where that "writer's journal" (read that with a tone of mocking condescension, the way I typed it), that I've been told repeatedly I should have, would come in handy, but I don't have one. Which really means "I don't use one." Having one is the easy part. This place is littered with blank notebooks of various sizes and shapes. (Damn my sad addiction to buying office supplies! Honestly, in Staples, I'm like Imelda Marcos visiting Manolo Blahnik.)

I suppose the really responsible thing to do would be to not only write down these random ideas, but also to choose one well in advance of Thursday and start writing earlier. To go through a couple of drafts and revisions, so that when Thursday arrived, I'd have some crisp, polished piece of writing, and not just another aw-Hell-let's-just-type-and-see-what-happens kind of meandering.

The literary equivalent of drool from a baby's mouth.

But these ramblings of mine may be the most honest thing I do. With everything else, I worry about the impression I make. "I want to say X, but how would that make me look?" I wonder. I could talk about this or that, but what would people say.

Even here, in the magic anonymity of the Internet where seemingly anything goes, I edit and censor myself. I'm still afraid to be terribly honest (but pat myself on the back for feeling a bit guilty about it) lest I not be well-liked.

I may talk a lot (a lot!) about integrity and honesty, when so often, when it comes right down to it, I still react like a 7th grade boy who wants to be popular.

Hits as of now: 13328

Summer Time Tip #10

Faire from Fair Sometime Declines

What the guys at the Renaissance Faire
think they look like:


What they usually look like in real life:

Hits as of now: 13299

And Manuel Padilla Jr. as Jai, yo!

"Jiayou"

-seemingly endless chant heard
from the Chinese in the background
of virtually every Olympic event so far.

According to The Daily Telegraph, it translates as "Let's Go" and is part of "Jaiyou Aoyunhui" or "Let's Go, Olympics," one of a short list of approved cheers that the Chinese students that pack the audiences were drilled on before the Olympiad began.

But there was a commentator on NPR last week who translated it differently. He says it translates literally as "Add gas" or "Add oil," which I suppose in meaning is roughly equivalent to our "Step on it."

I just know that after last weekend's marathon bout with Tivo, I'm hearing "jaiyou" in my sleep now. Even Tommy's snoring would be better than this.

Hits as of now: 13222

Heavy Breathing Room

Rogues' Gallery Opening

Inspired by Mugshot Monday, here's my own version featuring some of the guys from our 2008 Olympic team.

No criminals here: I'm the only reprobate I want in this place.

1) Gil Stoval, Swimming


2) Donny Robinson, BMX cycling


3) Jesse Williams, High Jump


4) Taylor Takata, Judo


5) Justin Spring, Gymnastics


6) Sam Sacksen, Modern Pentathlon


7) Garrett Weber-Gale, Swimming

Cute guys. Lousy photography.

Before you start asking "Where's what's-his-name?" let me tell you that I started with Z and went backward. These are just guys from Z to R. I may sift through the remaining alphabet sometime, but not yet.

And yes, I had Garrett Weber-Gale up here last week. I can't help it. Ever since I found out that he can cook, I'm a little fascinated. Part of me wants to help him produce a cooking show.

Hits as of now: 13181

Whistlin' Dixie Cups

Scott Bazzle
Trio Whistle Tune

Hits as of now: 13097

Eye Protection Racket

Breath of Fresh Air Conditioning

Swim of Things to Come

I'll confess that this boy is not at all my type.

But it is so nice to see someone get all this attention
for actual accomplishments
- for the results of talent, determination, and years of hard work -
instead of some manufactured media hype or
the latest episode of scandalous behaviour or
mere physical attractiveness.

Has he said anything about being in London in 2012? Or is 27 considered too old for Olympic swimming?

There's something vaguely disconcerting about people being considered too old at such young ages. I get that the physical demands are taxing on the body, but it's so depressing to see how athletic competition uses people up like tissues and then toss them away when they're done.

And it was truly great to see a 40-something swimmer and a 30-something gymnast both get medals this weekend.

Hits as of now: 12973

Hot Water Wings

Reclining Position of Strength

Mostly I just lay around trying to decide what to do.
Then I decided to buy some new jeans.

Hits as of now: 12942

Olympic Village of the Damned Sexy

"An informal poll of summer Olympians puts swimmers and gymnasts at the top of the best-proportioned-body list. Cathy Rigby, a gymnast who took part in the Games of Mexico City and Munich, once told a reporter that gymnasts’ bodies are so aesthetically pleasing they should be forced to perform naked."

Go, Cathy!

At scotsman.com, I found a 2004 article about what goes on inside an Olympic village.

"It’s not an orgy," says one alpine skiing champion, Carrie Sheinberg, "but it is socially vigorous."

I'm not going to repeat it all, but here's one more excerpt:

"It’s really a question of ‘which flavour do you like?’," says Nelson Diebel, an American swimmer who won gold twice in Barcelona. "If you like six-packs, see the gymnasts. Like butts? Go to track and field. The only thing you’re deprived of is fat. If you’re the rare athlete who likes sedentary bodies, you’re shit out of luck."

In some other article - I've lost the citation now - it said that in one Olympic village (Athens, I think) workers had to refill the condom dispensers every two hours. 'makes me wonder how they found any energy for competing.

But mostly I'm just jealous.

Baby Got Back Pack

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