A RACK , NO PHOBIA

Andrew Garfield has beautiful eyes,
but he looks so damned willowy
in the Spiderman costume.

Why does Hollywood never consult me
when casting these movies?

This guy might look good as Spiderman,
but actually doing the superhero's job
was made difficult by
his fear of heights and spiders.

JERSEY BOY

So, who else saw this yesterday?

I don't like it.
I don't like what they've done to the costume,
and I don't like what they've done to Henry.

Those are some impressive thighs, though.

MARVEL US

I realize that this is ueber-nerdy,
but it bothers me when the same actor
plays two different comic books superheroes.

Especially when both heroes are in the Marvel Universe.
What happens if these two characters have to work together?

Maybe this guy should be forgiven.

But enough comic book raving. Here are some photos...

Hits as of now: 292,004

BUT THEN I GOT HIGH KARATE

Yesterday's boy looked so tough that I had to
paint a superhero costume on his photo.

And somebody should tell the Karate Kid
that if your fighting ability depends a great deal
on peripheral vision, that collar is just a stupid idea.

HIDING IN THE SHADOW LASS

MEANWHILE
AT LEGION HEADQUARTERS...

Comments
Kenneth Johnson aka Sebastien Penn said...
did u do this?

Mike Ellis, The Jolly Reprobate said...
Of course. Who else would waste the time?

Kenneth Johnson aka Sebastien Penn said...
what is/are the original image/s like?

There are two separate photos. The photo of Ryan Betroche and the girl he's making out with I found at A Cause des Garcons. The pic of Adam Phebus I found at Socialite Life by searching for "underwear models."

GREEN LANTERN POST

Aaargh!

AAARGH!

So this is the Green Lantern that the suits
at Warner Brothers thought would be good
for Ryan Reynolds in the upcoming movie.

Yeah, great, let's make the costume look like
his skin was ripped off so we can see all
the individual muscle fibers. Just like that
museum exhibit of corpses with no skin.
No one was nauseated by that.

This is what comes of having men who think with their wallets in charge of entertaining teenage audiences who think with their testicles. Take something classy and trash it down to entertain the proles.

Hal Jordan as the Green Lantern was always one of the classiest superheroes. Immensely powerful but civilized enough to keep it under control. Unlike Superman, he didn't need to be from another planet to be a grown man without the emotional problems that plague most fictional characters. Unlike Batman, he wasn't a borderline criminal himself. Some people might call this boring, but I prefer to think of it as dignified.

And a dignified grown man wouldn't wear this suit.

INSPECT HER GORDON

I'll admit that Cap News doesn't entertain me as much as The Onion, but sometimes they're hysterical.

Like in this story about Batman and Robin continuing to deny they're gay. You gotta love a story that contains lines like this:

"Why people would think Robin and I are gay has always been beyond me," said Batman, polishing his hard rubber codpiece.

FRESH AND MILD MANNERED REPORTER

Okay, I'm not proud of this, but every time a photographer puts glasses with those heavy black frames on a mostly naked guy with a nice body, I want to do this to the photo.

Views as of now: 223,053

SO MUCH BETTER THAN TIN TODDLER

LOVE FOR CELLULITE

My thanks to Stephen for introducing me to the Batman & Robin Comic Generator.

And now I think I'll have to do this to more comic book frames. Have scanner, will mock.

Hits as of now: 168,727

RED/BLUE BLURRY VISION

Diana, Hal, and Arthur all made fun of his cape.
Bruce didn't see the point in it because it wasn't
"scary." And Jonn never mentioned it.

Some people thought it was for aerodynamics. Some
thought it was for warmth. Some thought it was
for style or some kind of homage to his home planet.

No one knew that he wore that cape to keep
people for checking out his sweet ass.

Views as of now: 141,236

KRYPTONIGHT OF PASSION

"I brought your favourite green dildo,"
the man in the mask hissed,
"but first gimme a kiss."

This fake isn't mine, but I do think it's good (even if the glove holding the kryptonite is the wrong colour). I'd tell you who made this, but I can't find the original so I don't know whose this is.

Views as of now: 133,977

KRYPTONITE OF THE LIVING DEAD

Today, a special Fun for Friday, dedicated to
my favourite superhero as a kid.

(The stories were mostly crap, though.)

A piece of the only episode of the SUPERBOY series filmed in 1961. I've been looking for this for a long time, but Wes found it first. This isn't the beginning, but I think we get our best look at Rockwell in this part.
7 mins 35

A episode from the 70s cartoon. No hunky actor this time, but it does have the voice of WJM-TV newsman Ted Baxter. Meanwhile...
6 mins 45

A short clip from the 80s SUPERBOY series, with acting bad enough for a David DeCoteau movie. But I can't believe that they just left him there at the end.
1 min. 50

Views as of now: 112,381

IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN LANTERN

This is completely fake, but it's a really, really good fake.

I'm so jealous right now. This makes my trailer for a fake Justice League movie look like a lump of fudgy dog turd.

KID FLASH DANCE

Question #16:
How do you paint
superhero costumes
onto photographs?

Quite well, actually.

Views as of now: 68,633

COMMENTS
Xersex said...
Nice picture. I wish you a very very good Easter of Resurrection.
I make sure you that I'll pray for your soul :)))
Saint and Gay Hugs!!! Blessed by Holy Lord!!!

Thanks for complimenting the picture,
but I don't think it's quite done yet.
As for Easter, it's just another day to me.
I'm not very superstitious.

Anonymous said...
Thanks for this! It's Kerry Degman, for the record.

Of course, I know it's Degman.
He was Man of the Month for last December.

Odd thing about him,
I wouldn't say he's beautiful or pretty or even handsome,
but he may the sexiest human being I've ever seen
and I'm hard-pressed to explain the difference.

CEILING FANTASTIC FOUR

I haven't done this in a while, so I decided to have some fun.

Gooey, marshmallowy, sticks-to-your-fingertips fun.

I call this one "The Bitch is Invisible."

And I think Myles kinda looks better like this.

Views as of now: 55,872

__________

Four days, 800 hits and still ZERO comments!? What does it take for you people?

AQUAMANIAC

February, from the Latin februare meaning to purify. In their pagan polytheism, the year began on March 1st, and the month before that was spent in ceremonies and rituals to purify the spirit for the new year. And a new month means a new theme. And I'm sure you can guess what it is. You're all very smart. Incidentally, DC Comics published a calendar in 1976 - the same year that Pepsi released those spiffy drinking glasses that I've been trying to collect. And according to that calendar, January 29th is Aquaman's birthday. I doubt anyone who lives in the extreme pressure of the sea floor would even feel any birthday spanking that I could give, but I'm willing to give it a try. Strictly out of respect for tradition, you understand.

Hits as of now: 50,609

Greased Lightning Lad

This kinda makes me wish I had a television...
(Uh, sorry about turning it on its side. That seemed a better compromise than reducing its size and legibility.)

Neptune in Tomorrow

I haven't done this in a while . . .

If I gave these things titles,
I'd be tempted to call it "Homesick."

Hits as of now: 19505

Timberwolf in Sheep's Clothing

Here are those 33 Legion pictures I painted.

Yeah, you've probably seen them here before, but someone wrote asking if I could make them larger so they'd be easier to see. I don't get a lot of requests, so I did it.

Unfortunately, I made them a little too large, enlarged them beyond their resolution threshold, so they got a bit fuzzy. Sorry 'bout that.

Hits as of now: 13888