Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts

Monday, December 13, 2010

JOLLY OLD SAINT NICK JONAS

Months ago, when Robert Pattinson was a poster
on Meg's bedroom wall on FAMILY GUY, I thought it was funny.

Robert Pattinson on Family Guy

But last night, when everyone was singing about what they wanted for Christmas
and the pedophile down the street sang about wanting a little drummer boy
while gazing fondly at the poster of Nick Jonas, I was a little creeped out.

Nick Jonas on Family Guy

And I totally understood.

Hell, yeah, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum!

Views as of now: 279,107

Friday, October 8, 2010

TWILIGHT AND SUNNY VALE

I know enough about video editing to realize how labour intensive this must have been.

But I love it.


Views as of now: 245,253

Friday, September 10, 2010

TWILIGHT AND FLUFFY

I'm curious. Has anyone ever declared themselves for Team Charlie yet?


Over the years, Chief Swan had mentally prepared himself
for teenage daughter temper tantrums. And teenage daughter

eye rolling and sarcasm. He was even braced for teenage daughter pregnancy or teenage daughter same-sex experimentation.

But teenage daughter necrophilia had
never once been on his radar.

Views as of now: 236,694

Monday, August 16, 2010

A SEASON OF COMFORTABLE SHOES

Okay, so while I work tonight, I'm gearing up for a marathon viewing of Season 2 of TRUE BLOOD, which I haven't seen yet.

And please, God, somebody bite this boy already. He ain't gettin' any fresher.

Ryan Kwanten from True Blood

Views as of now: 233,471

Thursday, August 12, 2010

LOVE BITE MARKS

Thanks to the CW Website, I've finally seen an episode of Vampire Diaries. Well, six episodes actually.

And finally, somebody made hot-looking vampires.

TWILIGHT was a big disappointment in this respect. Peter Facinelli has a great face and Kellan Lutz has a killer body, but in general the vampires in those movies are odd and sickly looking. The werewolves are hotter, but not exactly pretty.

And TRUE BLOOD disappointed me, too. I've only seen Season 1 so far, but only Ryan Kwanten is worth looking at (and thank IFITS that Kwanten shows his ass to us as often as he does) and all the trashy accents really get on my nerves after a while.

But Vampire Diaries has a nice dish of testosterone-flavoured eye candy in its cast, and they speak English without a poor white trash accent or the constant Cullen pausing. Here's a sample.

Remote Controlled Hairbrush talking about Ian Somerhalder on Vampire Diaries
Ian Somerhalder. His character is the snarky
smartass who makes the show worth watching.
Not that blue-eyed brunets really need to talk.

Remote Controlled Hairbrush talking about Paul Wesley on Vampire Diaries
Paul Wesley. Great body and really sexy, but not
what I'd call beautiful. If his eyes were any closer
to his brows, he wouldn't need an eye lid at all.

Remote Controlled Hairbrush talking about Michael Trevino on Vampire Diaries
Michael Trevino. It's hard to find a photo that does
him justice, but on video he looks really, really good.
And vampires aren't the only kind of
blood-suckers
that he's been dealing with.

Remote Controlled Hairbrush talking about Steven R McQueen on Vampire Diaries
Steven R. McQueen. And yeah, there's a relation.
From what I've seen, this boy makes a very lovely
angst-ridden teenage boy. He'd make a nice snack, too.

Remote Controlled Hairbrush talking about Zach Roerig on Vampire Diaries
Zach Roerig. I never saw this guy on Friday Night Lights,
but he makes a really sweet "All-American Boy" on this show.
With all the vampires, witches, and werewolves, it's kinda
refreshing to have a guy who's just an ordinary stud.

And one last photo to drive home the fact that these are not
the goody-goody Mormon vampires of TWILIGHT.
Remote Controlled Hairbrush talking about Vampire Diaries


COMMENTS:
Xersex said...
Ian Somerhalder: the colour of his eyes is incredibly beautiful and he has a nice face.
Paul Wesley: Great body and really sexy, but not what I'd call beautiful. I agree with you.
Michael Trevino: cute, nice face, but not much more.
Steven R. McQueen: nice face, in this photo he looks very young.
Zach Roerig: he looks like Belami guys (August 13, 2010 1:10 AM)

Kenneth Johnson aka Sebastien Penn said...
Ian plays his character really well. In truth, I prefer him younger than how he looks now.
Paul is the reason I got interested in this series. Boring character, but his screen presence is magnifique.
Michael looks nice but his douchey character makes him hard to like.
Steven gets cuter by the episode; when he has long hair...swoon!
Zach's FNL character was double douche; he plays a really likable character. If I couldn't get Paul, I'd date Zach. (August 13, 2010 2:17 AM)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

BITE MARKS THE SPOT

It's bloody typical, you know! The producers of the inexplicably popular Twilight movies finally make a vampire out of a guy I like to look at and they kill him off.

xavier samuel as riley biers in twilight eclipse

Australian-born Xavier Samuel reportedly beat out both
Channing Tatum
and Tom Felton
(Hmmm. Draco Malfoy as a Vampire)
for the part of the leader of the army of baby vampires in Twilight: Eclipse,
which I saw on Monday when our office was closed, evidently in honor of
Venezuela's Independence Day
.

There's not much of him in the movie, though. Mostly it's Edward and Bella
pausing awkwardly as they say their lines, but Xavier does look good when
he does show up. He has a great smile, which never shows up in Eclipse, but
at least he avoids previous experiences with really bad hair.

And he looks good dripping wet, which happens twice, though I don't know why
that should appeal to me the way it does. And it turns out that he was also
in a film about homosexuality and Australian surfers.
He probably got wet in that one, too.

Friday, June 11, 2010

SLAYER? I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER?

sarah michelle geller as buffy the vampire slayer accepting an award at prom
Having exhausted hulu.com of all the other stuff I'd like to watch, I've been watching the third season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, still one of the funniest action shows ever. Tonight it was the episode called "Prom" where the senior class announces a special award to Buffy Summers who, though no one ever talked about it, was responsible for this graduating class having the lowest death count of any graduating class ever. And dammit if I didn't get tears in my eyes. Just like the first time I watched it.

I gotta get a life.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

VAMPIRES SUCK

This may annoy die-hard TWILIGHT fans, but if — like me — you watched these movies for the eye candy, then you may appreciate this.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

BITE ME. NO, I MEAN SERIOUSLY: BITE ME.

Taylor Lautner from Rolling Stone, Dec 2009So I finally got around to reading the Rolling Stone cover story on Taylor Lautner that came out in December. (I actually bought the issue to read Matt Taibi's article on Obama replacing Progressive advisers with Wall Street cronies, but I haven't actually done the work to translate that Escher drawing of an article into English, yet.)

So I finished the Sharkboy interview first. And the ending left me with a big question. Check out this excerpt:

Lautner says that he's never been promiscuous: "Yeah, I would need to know the person. I'm really big about, like, commitment. Loyalty is a major thing for me."

Just before that Neil Straus had gently asked him about "other possibilities," about Lautner as a "young person trying to figure out his sexual identity in the world."

Then Lautner used the word "person."

It's stupid and even dangerous to read too much into a word or two, but the gender-neutral pronoun "person" to describe some hypothetical love interest. And that's an old trick that confused people and closeted homosexuals have used for years. 'do it myself, even. If you can't say "he" and don't want to say "she," go with the neutral "one" or "someone." Or "the person."

So there's a possibility. And, to be honest, the dirty old man in my brain keeps yelling, "Woo hoo! Fresh meat!"

But the bigger, nicer, more understanding and supportive part of my brain want to tell him, "You're young, little brother. Take the time to figure out want you want, who you are, and then pursue that. And don't let concern for your career stop you: audiences are more accepting than they used to be, and there are other ways of life after all.

"But don't lie to yourself and others to keep a job, or you may end up bat-shit crazy, jumping over a couch on national television."

Views as of now: 210,588

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

PORTERHOUSE STEAK THROUGH THE HEART


Kellan Lutz is seriously getting into playing the
vampire. He's got the pale skin, the black clothes,
the dark sunglasses, the dangerous but sexy attitude.

But if he's gonna pull this off, he's gotta learn to
avoid the sunlight.

And putting your own body into the shape
of a cross is probably not a good idea either.