BITE ME. NO, I MEAN SERIOUSLY: BITE ME.

So I finally got around to reading the Rolling Stone cover story on Taylor Lautner that came out in December. (I actually bought the issue to read Matt Taibi's article on Obama replacing Progressive advisers with Wall Street cronies, but I haven't actually done the work to translate that Escher drawing of an article into English, yet.)

So I finished the Sharkboy interview first. And the ending left me with a big question. Check out this excerpt:

Lautner says that he's never been promiscuous: "Yeah, I would need to know the person. I'm really big about, like, commitment. Loyalty is a major thing for me."

Just before that Neil Straus had gently asked him about "other possibilities," about Lautner as a "young person trying to figure out his sexual identity in the world."

Then Lautner used the word "person."

It's stupid and even dangerous to read too much into a word or two, but the gender-neutral pronoun "person" to describe some hypothetical love interest. And that's an old trick that confused people and closeted homosexuals have used for years. 'do it myself, even. If you can't say "he" and don't want to say "she," go with the neutral "one" or "someone." Or "the person."

So there's a possibility. And, to be honest, the dirty old man in my brain keeps yelling, "Woo hoo! Fresh meat!"

But the bigger, nicer, more understanding and supportive part of my brain want to tell him, "You're young, little brother. Take the time to figure out want you want, who you are, and then pursue that. And don't let concern for your career stop you: audiences are more accepting than they used to be, and there are other ways of life after all.

"But don't lie to yourself and others to keep a job, or you may end up bat-shit crazy, jumping over a couch on national television."

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