Tuesday, September 13, 2011



Experience has shown me that those who visit this site seem to hate it when I tell boring stories about my life. But I'm down and don't have anyone to talk to about this, so here I go.

If it bores you, just ignore this and come back some other time.

It's no secret that I'm incredibly insecure and have the emotional maturity of your average paranoid ten-year-old. I find it almost impossible to believe that anyone who actually knows me could ever really like me, and so I've arranged my life so that I have very little contact with other people. I go to work and I go home. That's about it.

Every couple of years or so, I venture out of my protective shell and associate with other people. But usually my insecurities get the better of me, and I run home again.

That's what's happened today. For the past three months I've been taking an acting class with a small group of six other people. It's been great fun, and I think I done pretty well at the work. But there was one guy in this class that I found myself very attracted to. At first it was just a physical attraction, but then I began to get emotionally attracted to this guy.

He, on the other hand, never showed any sign that he even considered me a friend.

So for the past few weeks, it's been getting increasingly unpleasant, being around someone I want but can't have.

Tonight, the class resumed after two weeks off but I'm not there. I told the instructor that I need take a few months off. Then when I go back, I'll be with a different bunch of people.

I feel really chicken shit for quitting, but being upset all the time has been making me physically ill. I've even started taking Prozac and considered going into therapy again. My reaction to emotional situations is way too abnormal for me to tolerate or for me to fix by myself.

If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

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SirKris said...

We all have our insecurities and problems. It's easy to get bogged down with depression and feelings of being alone when we shut ourselves away. You have to go out and be with people. feel free to contact me at badasskris@gmail.com

Xersex said...

No my beloved Mike!!! I think you should to go again to your therapist! what a pity you went away from that guy! it'd be great to meet him only to make sex!
you have my mail, so consider you free to write me when and what you want. Hugs Steve

Xersex said...

Post Scriptum: I don't hate tales of your life, not for sure. I'd love to read them more often!

Anonymous said...

Just stumbled onto your site. Dont be so hard on yourself. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has insecurities. Staying alone will only make it worse and you will miss too much of life and the happiness that it can bring.