Han. So Low.

Last week I learned of another new word that exists in another language but not in English.

It was han, a Korean word for an emotion which has no clear translation, but it is described as feelings of anger and frustration, but mixed with a poignant sense of sadness and loss. A feeling of both rage and regret at some loss.

The Korean -- South or North; it doesn't matter -- on the radio was using the word to describe their nation's feelings about the two Korean governments' inability to come to terms that would allow their respective teams to walk together in the opening ceremony in Beijing.

The people of both lands wanted it, both as symbolic gesture and literal steps toward a possible reunification. The people wanted it, but the governments came to no agreement.

The people wanted a hopeful sign; all they got was han.

As soon as I heard the word explained, I realized that it summed up perfectly my feelings toward my own country.

All my life, I've seen the growing chasm that separates the USA I learned about in school from the one I actually live in.

The one from the history books, the one I love so dearly, is a compassionate and welcoming place that steps in to help when it is needed. It's a land of opportunity, a peace-loving country that tries to settle disputes among its neighbours and only pulls a weapon after all else has failed, and then only to defend and never attack. It is baseball, apple pie, Superman, and squeaky clean boy scouts who mows an old lady's yard and refuses to accept any pay.

But it's the other USA that will bite you in the ass. It's an arrogant, condescending kind of place that ignores the rights of other nations, because it finds them inferior, while keeping its own citizens in the dark about its activities, because the proles can't be trusted to direct their own government. It is constantly interfering with other countries internal affairs, using the euphemism "national interests" to disguise that it's usually just using our military to give some corporation what it wants. It is road rage, Hummers, Paris Hilton, and the grubby grocer who raises his prices when everyone in town is stocking up before the hurricane hits.

I long to see this country live up to its potential, to become the land I love. But every morning I wake up in a land that seems to have forgotten its own noble soul. It's there still, I'm sure, buried under neglect and greed and the stress of everyday life.

Still, as sad as this failure makes me, it is much worse for me to realize how many other USAmericans don't see the divide, even when their dreams are tumbling into it.

Much han, indeed.

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