RUNNING OUT THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE

So,
my Month of Jocks
is over now.
I hope you enjoyed it.

COMMENTS:
Kenneth Johnson aka Sebastien Penn said...
but you're still continuing the funny caption thing, right?
right?!
April 1, 2009 12:08 AM

I'm gonna try.

7TH INNING STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION

Picture from Boys Will Be Boys

Michael loved everything about baseball.
He loved playing as part of a team and facing
a pitcher all by himself. He loved that the game
had a romantic history; smart, dedicated fans;
and a more sophisticated, gentlemanly pace.

But he quit because they made him wear a shirt.

Views as of now: 66,100

MIXED DOUBLE ENTENDRE

Chris Isaak and Michael Buble
Sway
The stage is almost too small for this much smooth. 2 mins. 30

Workout Update, April 2009

March has over a day left, but I took my monthly measurements tonight because I had the time. ("Had the time" is, of course, code for "I had things to do that I was avoiding having to do.") And the news was mostly good. My weight has gone up 3 lbs., but my body fat has gone down 2.5%, to almost 14%. So, four percent (roughly 8 lbs.) to go, but it's an improvement. Measuring the body parts, the results haven't changed too much. Chest, biceps, and thighs are too small; waist a bit too big. At least my calves are perfectly in proportion. Finally, a reason to like having a staircase! I'm having a bit of a competition with Wes. His birthday is in three weeks, and we're competing to see who has the best abs by then. I really want to win this thing, for sophomoric reasons I don't want to think about too much.

GOING OUT ON A LIMBER UP

Though neither guy was man enough
to admit it, they both came to realize that
the best part of their workouts was getting
to hold hands in public.

FINAL MATCH MAKER

This is the last Monday in my month of jocks, and I couldn't decide whom to feature for this last Man-for-Monday for March.

So I thought I'd give you a choice of two. (There were supposed to be three, but the third clip wasn't done in time.)

Views as of now: 65,582

FREE WEIGHTING ROOM

After Adrian realized that the gym wall was
just a mirror, he was actually disappointed
because for three weeks he thought he'd found
the most simpatico workout partner ever.

COMING IN FIRST LOSER

Failblog.org, providing a valuable public service by pointing out the errors of others in design, in advertising, in comic book publishing... in any field of life really.

Views as of now: 64,790

BICEP CURLY FRIES

Photo from Stunning Sexy Guys

For years, James was diligent and dedicated,
working for hours each day, pushing himself
to the point of exhaustion. But it was all for
nothing: that green ball just would not hatch.

Views as of now: 64,482

WEIGHT LIFTING YOUR SPIRITS

UPDATE
Thanks to Xersex, we now have a link to a clip where you can hear Anton speak. Sexy voice, but I was a bit disappointed not to hear more Eastern Europe in his accent.

CORK SCREW BALL
3 mins 15

LOAD OF YOUR BACK FLIP
3 mins

Views as of now: 64,380

BREAKING WIND SPRINT

For years, Wade thought he was genuinely
faster than most of his competition until
he learned that they stayed behind him
just to enjoy the lycra-covered view.

By the way, I'm sorry about the lack of activity this week: my free Internet connection at home has dried up recently.

And I'm sure the guy running out front in this picture must be straight. Otherwise, he'd have realized that the royal blue of his shirt clashes with dark French blue of his shorts.

Views as of now: 64,205

WHAT THE PUCK?

Paul Deboy (yeah, that's a real name...) tries to explain hockey to some sleeveless queens.

HAND STANDING OVATION

Darren's one-armed handstand was an
impressive thing to see, but he refused
to talk about how one of his arms got
to be so much stronger than the other.

MIDFIELD OF DREAMS

I don't like him much, but there's no denying that David Beckham is a beautiful man.

This photo is from a tabloid photospread about his wedding, which makes it about ten years old. The chubby cheek and the small hat belongs to the baby, and the talons on David's shoulder belong to his wife.

Views as of now: 63,427

GIRDLE OF APOLLO CREED

Fit Lads. Both a place to ogle hot photos, but also a good source of fitness information and training tips.

Views as of now: 62,999

LINOLEUM FLOOR EXERCISE

Craig was an accomplished and beautiful
athlete, a dedicated student, and a beloved
and loyal friend, but he was clueless about
the proper use of ordinary furniture.

Visitors were often shocked to see
what he did with his coffee table.

Views as of now: 62,794

________________________________________

COMMENTS:
Josh said...
I remember Craig when he was a regular on FratmenTV. He left supposedly to enter the military. Wonder how's he doing now. He was very popular on FratmenTV. BTW, I really liked him. - March 23, 2009 2:18 PM

Xersex said...
Sexy and hot body. - March 24, 2009 1:54 AM

Mike Ellis, The Jolly Reprobate said...
The military, huh? That reminds me that I read somewhere that Jake Campione is supposedly a Air Force pilot now. No wonder I can't find recent photos of him. - March 26, 2009 5:58 PM

ALL-AROUND JOCK ITCH

THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS
Several skits that I wish I could use individually. But it's mildly cool to see squinty little Kevin Seal again.
10 mins 45

And now
A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

Views as of now: 62,604

WILD LIFE PRESERVER

Photo originally from AllAmerican Guys, obviously,
but I stole it from Definition of a Man

Tyler was not a great success as a lifeguard,
as so many people went into the water to
pretend they needed saving that the water
level rose dangerously, flooding several towns.

ALL CATTLE, NO HAT TRICK

Finally, there something about that over-rated mannequin with the ignorant redneck name, Miley Cyrus, that I can find attractive!

Her co-star in her upcoming movie, Lucas Till.

In most pics I've seen, he's just another innocuously cute boy,
like thousands of meaningless others. But dress him as a farmboy
and this West Texas boy becomes something special.

And to save you asking or running to IMDB, he'll be 19 in August.

ABSOLUT VICTORY

Jake used to get devastatingly nervous
before the more important games until
a very innovative coach pointed out that
water looks and smells just like vodka.

Views as of now: 62,232

STARRY NIGHT GAME

Don McLean
Vincent
Once more, I'm impressed with my own taste in music.
4 mins 30

Hits as of now: 61,824

BALL HANDLING SKILLS

Photo from Tottyland

Ever since learning what castrati were
in a history class, Cristiano had suffered
a phobia that required him to periodically
inventory his private parts.

Views as of now: 61479

GYM BODY OF WORK

GIVE NO QUARTER BACK

This monday: Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn. After much attention at Notre Dame, Quinn has gotten very mixed reviews as a pro QB: from lukewarm to downright dismissive.

But who cares? I'm less interested in his football skills (and misguided politics) than I am in his potential as a gene donor.

As usual, there are some interesting clips of this one on YouTube: an attractive but insipid commercial, a self-glorifying narrative, and even a clip with both bad hair and a disappointing title.

Views as of now: 61,576

FISHING TACKLE DUMMY

Photo from Gay Body Blog

Proving once again he was MVP material,
Gabe retained the ball even though
the tackle had been hard enough to knock
him completely out of his uniform.

But eventually he grew disenchanted with
the game as more and more fans showed up
and shouted for him to get tackled again.

Views as of now: 61479

MAKING YOUR MARQUEE

Funny Signs is exactly that, a collection of funny signs. Some are obvious fakes and there's a lot of repetition, but it's still worth a visit.

STRUT YOUR STUFF AND NONSENSE

Lenny had no way of knowing that his
wrestling would pave the way for his future
career, where - as head of visual marketing
for Kobe Steaks - he was constantly creating
visually appealing displays of beef.

MR WONDERFUL OF HIMSELF

A competition doesn't have to be physical to leave scars.

BLINDING SPEEDO

photo from Fit Sports Men

Joey had three primary attributes: a lean,
athletic swimmer's build, an inexplicable
fondness for the pre-fab 60s pop group
The Monkees, and an amazing inability to spell.

Views as of now: 60,777

SCRUM BAG OF FUN

First, one team made fun of those "fruity
little pink flowers" on the other's uniforms,
then the next thing you know things got ugly.

Picture from Muscle Jocks